The World of Facebook: Harry Potter Edition
by Turtlerose555
Summary: What would the Social Networking site be like if Harry and the gang had Facebook accounts? Find out what happens when the Wizarding World is logged on to Facebook! Read&Review!
1. Harry Joins Facebook

Harry Potter has joined Facebook.

**Basic Information**

Current City: Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon, England

Hometown: Godric's Hollow, England

Sex: Male

Birthday: July 31, 1980

Interested In: Women

Languages: English, Italian, Japanese, Parsaltounge

About Me: I save the world on a constant basis from a certain He-Who-must not-be-named. (Oh dear God)

**Work and Education**

School: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Share Your Experiences: Super Hero

**Philosophy**

Religious Views: Private

Policital Views: Really don't give a damn

**Arts and Entertainment**

Music: Owl City, Lady GaGa, Adele, Jeff Buckly, Neon Trees, Tupac, Snoop Dogg

**Share your Interests**

Books: HATE READING

Movies: Paranormal Activity, Mission: Imposible, Lion King

TV Shows: Phineas and Ferb, Dragon Ball, American Idol, Glee

Games: Mario, Sonic, Zelda, Pacman, Kirby, Final Fantasy...

* * *

><p>Harry Potter: Finally decided to make a Facebook, and here I am.<p>

**Harry Potter is now friends with Ron Weasley, Neville Plantboy Longbottom, Ginny Weasley and 4,800 other people.**

Ginny Weasley – Harry Potter: Hey Scarhead! Glad you finally got a Facebook. We've all been waiting for you to get one.

-Harry Potter: Thanks guys. You're all too kind.

_Hermione Granger likes this._

-Lord Voldemort: But I'm not.

-Neville Plantboy Longbottom: The entire universe knows that, Voldemort.

_Lavender Brown and 3,358 other people like this._

-Lord Voldemort: Stfu Neville

-Hermione Granger: WTF? Harry, why would you add Voldemort as a friend?

_Seamus Finnigan likes this._

-Harry Potter: ...Oh. I didn't realize I added him. See, I got like a billion friend requests right after I joined so I kinda just added whoever requested me.

-Fred Weasley: LOL. Why would Voldemort of all people want to be your friend on Facebook?

_Dean Thomas and 676 other people like this._

-Lord Voldemort: That's none of your business, you dumbass.

-Ron Weasley: Wait a second...why do we ALL have Voldemort as a friend on here?

-Hermione Granger: ...

_Dean Thomas and 500,000 other people like this._

* * *

><p>Dean Thomas: Can anyone come with suggestions for a middle name for me please? I feel naked without one!<p>

-Collin CamPics Creevey: Think of an anime name then put it there. That's always the best way!

_Hermione Granger likes this._

-Dean Thomas: Hm...anime, huh? That's so...anime though...eh, I'll get over it. OK, from now on I shall be known as DEAN KOMIKKU THOMAS!

**Dean Thomas has now changed his name Dean Komikku Thomas.**

-Lord Voldemort: Worst. Name. Ever.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter is now in a relationship with Ginny Weasley.<strong>

_Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and 526,388 other people like this._

-Romilda Vane: HA! I KNEW IT!

-Lavender Brown: Um...everyone's known it for years now...

-George Weasley: Pwned.

_Fred Weasley and 1,500,720 others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Seamus Finnigan is now in a relationship with Alicia Spinnet.<strong>

_Ginny Weasley and 303,451 others like this._

-Collin CamPics Creevey: WTF? YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS, SEAMUS!

-Lavender Brown: WHAAAAAAAT? GIVE ME THE DETAILS RIGHT NOW!

-Alicia Spinnet: Um...what? Just because we talk a lot doesn't mean we're in a relationship, Seamus. I don't even like you that way so take that off or else I'll block you.

-Seamus Finnigan: :(

**Seamus Finnigan is now single.**

_Parvati Patil likes this._

* * *

><p>George Weasley: Man, I am so underweight! I don't even understand how it came out to be like this too. I mean, I eat a lot every day so this shouldn't be happening!<p>

-Hermione Granger: It's called bulimia.

_Katie Bell and 909,714 others like this._

* * *

><p>Pansy Parkinson: Like my status if you think I'm in need of plastic surgery.<p>

_Marietta Edgecombe and 2,344,856,212 others like this_.

-Pansy Parkinson: UGH! YOU PEOPLE ARE SUCH BITCHES! I'M GONNA GO EAT A BOWL OF PEANUTS!

_Fred Weasley and 1,816,719,033 others like this._

-Pansy Parkinson: ...I'm allergic to peanuts.

_Hermione Granger and 2,640,099,127 others like this._

-Pansy Parkinson: WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY LOVE ME? [/self]

-Vincent Crabbe: Lmfao.

_Draco Lucius Malfoy and 2,000,000,000 others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter listed Ron Weasley as his brother.<strong>

-Ron Weasley: About damn time.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort: Need to get my cloak polished. Anyone know a good polishing center?<p>

-Luna Looney Lovegood: Yes. Just take a left turn at 5th avenue and go all the way to Knockturn Alley and go past the McDonalds Mall till you get to Dairy King then make a right and stop as you see 'Bart's Polishing Center', which should be right next to Burger Queen and Out-n-In.

_Neville Longbottom likes this._

-Lord Voldemort: ...WHAT?

* * *

><p>Charlie Weasley: OMG it's raining in Romania for once! And it's super cold too!<p>

_Parvati Patil and Fiona Greene likes this._

-Aubrey Jones: Hey babe, I'm coming over there in a minute so we can cuddle up and keep each other warm in bed. ;)

-Charlie Weasley: Oh boy! I'll light some scented candles!

-Aubrey Jones: And I'll bring some certain 'protection' just in case 'something' happens. ;)

-Fred Weasley: Get a room.

_George Weasley and Lord Voldemort likes this_.

* * *

><p>Ginny Weasley: Bored at home, watching TV...ugh, nothing is on, as usual...<p>

Gregory Goyle: Can I come over? ;)

**Ginny Weasley has blocked Gregory Goyle**

_Hermione Granger and Harry Potter likes this._

* * *

><p>Hannah Abbot: I really should be doing homework right now but...I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO OWL CITY DX<p>

_Lavender Brown and 36 others like this._

-Lord Voldemort: Pffft. Who needs homework? I sure didn't. That's why I dropped out of school. Didn't need it and I'm doing just fine now.

-Alicia Spinnet: And yet you wonder why your plans always fail.

_Harry Potter and 1,540,911 others like this._

* * *

><p>Katie Bell: OMFG THERE'S A HUGE RIOT GOING ON IN LONDON!<p>

_Bill Weasley likes this_.

-Romilda Vane: That's like the 20th riot this month. That's not news.

-Percy Weasley: Wow, talk about being bitchy...

-Marietta Edgecombe: ROMILDA IS A SKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!

-Michael Corner: Go play in some traffic, Romilda.

-Angelina Johnson: GTFO you worthless excuse of a girl.

_Romilda Vane has now blocked Marietta Edgecombe, Percy Weasley, Michael Corner and Angelina Johnson._

* * *

><p>Harry Potter: Hmm...Cho sent me a friend request. Should I accept?<p>

-Ginny Weasley: HELL NO, DON'T TALK TO THAT BIATCH!

_Ron Weasley and 95 others like this._

-Harry Potter: But...I haven't talked to her in years! And it seems like she wants to patch things up too...

-Neville Plantboy Longbottom: Don't do it Harry. That girl is trouble.

_Ginny Weasley and 102 others like this_.

-Lord Voldemort: DO IT!

-Lavender Brown: Shut up Voldemort.

-Harry Potter: Well...I'm gonna do it only because I haven't talked her in a long time. If she causes any trouble though, I will block her and delete her.

-Ron Weasley: *facepalms*

_Dean Komikku Thomas and 1,012 others like this._

**Harry Potter is now friends with Cho Chang**.

-Hannah Abbot: DISLIKE!

_Collin CamPics Creevey and 2,011 others like this._

* * *

><p>Romilda Vane: Screw what people think, I'm a do what makes ME happy! :D<p>

_Ginny Weasley and 20 others like this._

-Pansy Parkinson: Does that include stealing things from people and places for no good reason?

-Percy Weasley: And acting slutty a lot?

-Dobby FreeElf: And stalking guys?

-Kreacher the Loyal: And stealing my chocolate pudding without my permission?

-Sonic the Hedgehog: And trying to hack my Facebook account?

**Romilda Vane has now blocked Pansy Parkinson, Percy Weasley, Dobby FreeElf, Kreacher the Loyal, and Sonic the Hedgehog.**

* * *

><p>Draco Lucius Malfoy: Bark bark.<p>

_Dudley Dursley and 4,514,890,200 others like this._

**~End Chapter~**

* * *

><p><strong>So What do you guys think? Should I continue it? I feel Like I should! But anyways Read! Review! Laugh! Love!<strong>


	2. Cho Returns

_Parvati Patil and 586 others are now friends with Britney Spears._

* * *

><p>Cho Chang – Harry Potter: Hey, thanks for accepting my friend request. :) Haven't seen ya in forever!<p>

-Harry Potter: I know! What have you been up to these days?

-Cho Chang: Nothing much. I'm currently living in Downtown London now and I have my own apartment so...yeah, I guess you could say I'm living the good life. And you?

-Harry Potter: That's great! Me, I'm still living with my friends at their house. I'm planning on moving out soon so they can have the place all to himself.

-Cho Chang: Nice! I hope I can visit you guys someday. That would be fun...

-Hermione Granger: *coughSLUTcough*

_Fred Weasley and 474 others like this._

**Cho Chang has now blocked Hermione Granger.**

* * *

><p>Ron Weasley: My love for Hermione Granger grows stronger each day.<p>

_Alicia Spinnet and 209,857 others like this._

-Hermione Granger: AWWWWWWWWWW ROONNNAALLLLDDDD! YOU'RE SO CUUUUUUTE! I LOVE YOU!

_Hannah Abbot and 180,758 others like this._

-Lord Voldemort: There's this thing on Facebook called PRIVATE MESSAGING. Learn it. Use it. Love it. Do it.

_Fred Weasley and George Weasley like this._

-Albus Dumbledore: Ignore Voldemort, he's just angry that he can't get a girlfriend. ;)

**Lord Voldemort has now blocked Albus Dumbledore.**

-Vincent Crabbe: FJESOHGRGREHGREGHERHGERHG

* * *

><p>Mister Taxi – Lavender Brown: Hey babe.<p>

-Lavender Brown: Um...hey. Who is this?

-Mister Taxi: Let's just say that I've been a fan of you ever since I saw you in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

-Lavender Brown: Oh really? That's cool!

-Mister Taxi: Yeah...I really liked the way you talked...the way you attacked those enemies...your complexion...it's so...amazing. Every time I watch that movie, I am drawn to you. I even forget that Harry and Ron are on screen next to you. You are perfect in every single way. I think I'm in love with you.

-Lavender Brown: ...

-Dobby FreeElf: STALKER ALERT! BLOCK HIS ASS!

_Gregory Goyle and 549,375 others like this._

**Lavender Brown has now blocked Mister Taxi.**

* * *

><p>Gregory Goyle – Vincent Crabbe: So bro, what's the plan for today?<p>

-Vincent Crabbe: Oh, I've got it all planned out, brotha! First, were gonna hit up the milkshake palace. Next, we'll steal a few certain items from Diagon Alley, preferably video games and candy. After that, we'll go to the nightclub and hit on some pretty chicks and hopefully get far enough to take them home with us unlike last time where my girl threw up all over my face.

-Gregory Goyle: Perfecto! Can't wait!

-Vincent Crabbe: ...Oh crap, I just realized I posted that on here, where everyone can see. O.O

-Gregory Goyle: ...Well, this is extremely awkward...

-Oliver Wood: You guys are morons.

_Percy Weasley__ and 660,355 others like this._

* * *

><p>Seamus Finnigan- Alicia Spinnet: Hey Alicia! I've got this big box of chocolates with your name on it!<p>

-Alicia Spinnet: Oh really? That's so kind of you Seamus! Are you gonna drop it off here or should I just go to your place?

-Seamus: I'm dropping it off at your place. BUT! You have to give me a smooch on the lips first, otherwise, no chocolates for you! :D

**Alicia Spinnet**** has now blocked Seamus Finnigan.**

_Pansy Parkinson likes this._

Seamus Finnigan: D:

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort: LMS and I'll rate you 1-10.<p>

_Barty Crouch Jr. and 35 others like this._

-Romilda Vane: I wouldn't want to be rated by you, even if I was held at gunpoint.

-Lord Voldemort: You better watch out what you say, Romilda. Those words are gonna bite ya in the ass one day.

-Romilda Vane: Yeah, WHEN PIGS FLY! Haha!

-Xenophilius Lovegood: Actually Romilda, due to my latest experiment, I can make pigs fly due to this little microchip I embed in them that makes them magically sprout wings from absolutely nowhere and can fly up to 321.46 feet. ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

-Romilda Vane: ...You gotta be kidding me...

-Blaise Zabini: I got the gun.

_Draco Lucius Malfoy likes this._

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort – Peter Wormtail Pettigrew: I rate you a 7 out of 10. I like you and all, and you're a great underling, but you kind of creep me sometimes and I think you're a stalker.<p>

_Severus Snape likes this._

-Peter Wormtail Pettigrew: Well GEE, THANKS VOLDEMORT! YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET BARTY TO THROW A CRAP LOAD OF MAGIC AT ME FOR NO REASON!

-Barty Crouch Jr.: Is that a request?

-Lord Voldemort: Holy damn, calm down Peter. I'm just being honest. Besides, I'm not the only one who thinks that.

-Peter Wormtail Pettigrew: Well, who the hell else thinks that I'm creepy and a stalker?

-Lord Voldemort: Well...everybody.

**Peter Wormtail Pettigrew has now deleted his Facebook page.**

-Draco Lucius Malfoy: BARK BARK.

_Ron Weasley and 2,765,840,478 others like this._

* * *

><p>Ginny Weasley: Ahhh, the rain is so beautiful! Hard to believe it hasn't rained for 4 months!<p>

_Hannah Abbot and 703,584 others like this._

-Gregory Goyle: Want me to come over there and make you cozy, mama? ;)

-Ginny Weasley: WHAT THE! I BLOCKED YOU! How did you get past my...uhh...blockage?

-Gregory Goyle: It's called a backup account. You know, you really should set your profile on private...there's a lot of creeps out there who look at your pictures and do some 'things' with them. ;)

**Ginny Weasley has now blocked Gregory Goyle and set her profile to private.**

* * *

><p>Dean Komikku Thomas- Kreacher the Loyal: Hey, I've always wondered something. What IS behind your mask?<p>

-Kreacher the Loyal: Ever seen Bellatrix Lestrange with no makeup? That's what I look like.

-Dean Komikku Thomas: O.O

-Bellatrix Lestrange: YOU SON OF A *****.

**Bellatrix Lestrange**** has now blocked Kreacher the Loyal.**

-Kreacher the Loyal: ...I didn't even know she was on my friends list...

* * *

><p>Angelina Jolie – Harry Potter: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT'S HARRRRYYYYYYY POOOOTTTTTEEERRRRR! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK! WILL YOU MARRY ME? I AM, LIKE, YOUR BIGGEST FAN! I HAVE POSTERS OF YOU ALL OVER MY ROOM AND I OWN EVERY SINGLE GAME AND MOVIE YOU STARRED IN! OH MY GOSH, I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK! PLEASE RESPOND XOXOXOXO<p>

-Lord Voldemort: ...

_Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and 855,475 others like this._

-Harry Potter: Erm...wow...I...don't know what to say. Well...it's good to know that I have a huge fan...despite your post sounding borderline-obssessed with me.

-Angelina Jolie: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHH! HARRY POTTER REPLIED TO ME! HE REPLIED TO ME! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M TELLING ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS! THEN I'M GONNA WRITE A STORY ABOUT IT, SUBMIT IT TO THE "Daily Prophet" NEWSPAPER AND "Essence" MAGAZINE AND HOPE IT GETS SHOWN ON THERE FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!

-Harry Potter: That's...interesting...

-Angelina Jolie: OH HARRY YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE SO I CAN KISS YOU ALL OVER AND THEN WE CAN GET MARRIED AND HAVE A BUNCH OF BEAUTIFUL BABIES!

-Ginny Weasley: Woah woah woah. Step back sista. He's mine.

_Neville Plantboy Longbottom and 1,675,484 others like this._

-Angelina Jolie: UMM, EXCUSE ME? BACK OFF BITCH, HE'S MINE!

-Oliver Wood: Did you SERIOUSLY just call the princess of the entire Weasley Family a BITCH?

-Lavender Brown: Someone call the cops on this girl.

-Padma Patil: I'd hate to know what kind of family you grew up in.

-Angelina Jolie: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! The only thing that Ginny is a princess of, is the princess of MY ASS!

-Lee Jordan: 0.0

-Michael Corner: LMAO.

-Hermione Granger: Harry, block this loser. And Ginny, don't say anything. This idiot isn't worth your time.

-Fred Weasley: Geez, that girl is more of a stalker than Cho...

**Harry Potter has now blocked Angelina Jolie.**

**Cho Chang has now blocked Fred Weasley.**

**Lord Voldemort has now blocked Britney Spears.**

* * *

><p><em>Sirius Padfoot Black and 68,474,378 others are now friends with Lady Gaga.<em>

**~End Chapter~**

* * *

><p><strong>Here's another update, and the next one will be coming out soon! Laugh! Love! Read! Review!<strong>


	3. Halo Obsession

_Bill Weasley and 6,573,584,392 others are now friends with Pikachu Chan._

* * *

><p>Pansy Parkinson – Penelope Clearwater: WTF is wrong with you? Why did you tattle me out at Diagon Alley for stealing the 'Sonic Heroes' game? You know how much I wanted that!<p>

-Penelope Clearwater: It's called being a good citizen to your community. That, and you getting away with everything is annoying as hell.

-Pansy Parkinson: GRRRRRRRR! You know what, I'm gonna get Millicent Bulstrode to cast an evil spell on you! I'll make her transport you to the sewers where that hobo guy lives and he'll be so excited, that he'll squirt ink all over your face!

-Gregory Goyle: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

-Penelope Clearwater: You...YOU COLD BITCH! IF YOU DARE DO THAT TO ME, I WILL GET THE GOVERNMENT ON YOUR ASS AND I'LL TELL THEM THAT YOU'VE STOLEN LIKE 3 HUNDRED MILLION ITEMS AND SLEPT WITH GUYS FOR MONEY!

-Pansy Parkinson: ...You have no proof of that!

-Penelope Clearwater: Oh really? Then why did Dean say to me that you stole 100 Galleons from him when you were over at his place, doing 'some things'?

-Pansy Parkinson: ...

**Pansy Parkinson has now blocked Penelope.**

-Lord Voldemort: LOL. Gotta love Facebook drama.

_Lucius Malfoy and 800,473 others like this._

* * *

><p>Neville Plantboy Longbottom: OMG! HALO 8 COMES OUT TODAY! WHO ELSE IS GETTING IT?<p>

_Miles Tails Prower and 957,421 others like this._

-Hannah Abbot: I AM! I'm stoked for it! The trailers and preview are giving me a heart attack!

-Lord Voldemort: I wish that was literal.

_Walburga Black likes this._

-Collin CamPics Creevey: Same here man. I'm gonna be spending all day playing it. Guess I better prepare the snacks and drinks for the 8 hours of playing it.

-Romilda Vane: ...But we were suppose to go out today, Collin! Together!

-Collin CamPics Creevey: Well...I...uh...I'm...feeling really sick today so...I can't come...yeah.

-Romilda Vane: That is such BS! Do you WANT me to bring out my rocket launcher again?

-George Weasley: WTF?

-Albus Dumbledore: O_O

-Ginny Weasley: Romilda has a rocket launcher...?

-Ash Ketchum: What's a rocket launcher?

-Collin CamPics Creevey: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Okay okay fine...we can go out...and spend time together...while I think about how epic Halo 8 would be if I got it today if it weren't for a certain Gryffindor girl...

-Parvati Patil: LOL, you already know.

* * *

><p>Lady Gaga: Hey little monsters! Don't forget to download my new single, 'Marry The Night'! The music video will be out on October 32, 2011!<p>

_Alicia Spinnet and 7,347,437,282 others like this._

-Roberto Lima: LADY GAGAAAAAAAAAAA! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! I'M GONNA DOWNLOAD YOUR SINGLE 574856764976 TIMES SO IT WILL REACH NUMBER 1 ON THE UK HOT 100 CHART! I WANT YOU TO BE MY MOTHER! YOU ARE MY GOD, MY SAVIOR, MY LIFE!

-Selena Holetest: The above comment is a perfect example of an overly-obssessed stalker with no life.

_Vincent Crabbe and 6,375,289,575 others like this._

* * *

><p>Dean Komikku Thomas: Good morning, Britain! Today is a new day so let's make the best of it by being in a cheery, positive, and upbeat mood!<p>

_Ginny Weasley and 203,483 others like this._

-Cormac McLaggen: People like you are weird.

_Michael Corner like this._

-Dean Komikku Thomas: At least I don't suffer from...CLINICAL DESPRESSION! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

-Cormac McLaggen: W-what are you talking about?

-Dean Komikku Thomas: I read up on you, Cormac. It was hard and took a lot of time, but I've found all your info, on everything from when you were born until now.. Hee hee hee...

-Cormac McLaggen: ...Stop lying! Nobody would believe that!

-Dean Komikku Thomas: Oh, really? Then why were you diagnosed with clinical depression on June 24, 2009 by Doctor Ellsworth James?

-Cormac McLaggen: You...you...YOU BASTARD! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

-Ghost Face: Not if I kill you first!

-Dean Komikku Thomas: ^...?

-Padma Patil: Roffles.

_Seamus Finnigan likes this._

* * *

><p>Angelina Johnson: Who wants to see pics of my sexy, amazing body? I'm bored and I need to keep myself occupied.<p>

_Marcus Flint and 10,475,484,399 others like this._

-Terry Boot: I WANNA SEE! I WANNA SEE!

-Adrian Pucey: Hell yeah! Show me the goodies!

-Severus Snape: I'm quite curious to see how you're gonna do this, Angelina.

-Lavender Brown: SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT.

-Cedric Diggory: Lavender, you all of ALL people should NOT be calling Angelina a slut. Plus, a slut is a girl who sleeps with a ton of men. Huge difference here.

-Dobby FreeElf: Don't worry about Lavender, Angelina. She's just jealous because she's the ugliest girl in the universe and she wishes she could look like you.

-Lavender Brown: Why, I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH, COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND SAY THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! YOU WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY REGRET IT!

-Dobby FreeElf: Fine! Give me your address and I'll go!

-Lavender Brown: Okay. I live on Number 10, Sunset Way, Little Whinging, Surrey. You can get there quickly by the telephone booth center in Downtown London.

-Dobby FreeElf: kthxbai.

-Luna Lovegood: ...did you just seriously expose your address to millions of people?

-Terry Boot: *screenshots and sends this to everyone on my friends list*

_Lord Voldemort likes this._

-Lavender Brown: ...Welp, time to get a rocket launcher. And a sub-machine gun.

* * *

><p>Hannah Abbot: OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGG! I GOT HALO 8! EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK! I'M ABOUT TO GO PLAY IT!<p>

_Romilda Vane and 79 others like this._

-Lord Voldemort: Congratulations. That must be the best achievement you have ever made in your entire life. I applaud you.

-Dean Komikku Thomas: STFU Voldy. Quit hating.

-Lord Voldemort: But that's my job. I'm supposed to hate. I'm the villian of every single Harry Potter book AND movie to date. SO NO COMPLAINTS!

-Luna Lovegood: Then get another job. They're currently hiring at the McDonalds Mall right now. I heard that if you work there, you get a 99.999999999% discount on all their food! OH EM GEE!

-Lord Voldemort: HELL TO THE NO. Besides, do you REALLY think anyone is gonna hire ME, of all people?

-Hannah Abbot: You have a good point there, Voldemort. Nobody will ever want to work with you.

-Lord Voldemort: Damn straight.

-Kreacher The Loyal: HOLLA!

* * *

><p>Fleur Delacour: Come visit the Battle Arena in Newcastle to see me host the long-awaited match between Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew!<p>

_James Potter and 1,547,239 others like this._

-Remus Lupin: YES! Hopefully that bastard gets his ass kicked!

* * *

><p>Justin Flinch-Fletchy: Ahhhh, today is such a happy day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming and the air smells fresh! Nothing could make this day worse!<p>

_Ernie MacMillan and 707 others like this._

-Dudley Dursley: Dude, you post this status EVERY SINGLE DAY. Give it a freaking break already!

_Piers Polkiss likes this._

-Justin Flinch-Fletchy: GRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! YOU JERK! HOW DARE YOU GET ON MY CASE FOR POSTING SUCH A SIMPLE, HARMLESS STATUS UPDATE! I SHOULD RIP YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR BODY AND FEED IT TO THE DEMENTORS! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? HUH? HUUUUUUH? OR WOULD YOU PREFER IF I SNACKED ON YOUR BODY, MYSELF? OR HOW ABOUT I STEAL ALL YOUR SONIC THE HEDGEHOG VIDEO GAMES, THROW THEM IN A GARBAGE CAN, AND SEND THEM ALL TO OUTER SPACE SO THE GODDAMN ALIENS CAN SAY "OMFG WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THIS EARHLY OBJECT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS OWNED BY SOME MORON WITH NO LIFE! GET THIS CRAP OUT OF HERE!" AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY'LL DO NEXT? THEY'LL SHOOT IT WITH THEIR FREAKING LASERS, SEND OUT ONE OF THEIR SPACE COWS, AND DIRECT IT TO YOUR PLACE SO THE COW CAN SMASH INTO YOUR ROOM AND DESTROY EVERY FREAKING PIECE OF JUNK THAT YOU HAVE! MAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!

-Vincent Crabbe: O_O

-Dudley Dursley: ...I'm gonna go for a walk now...

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><p>Romilda Vane: I cannot get enough of Banana Milkshakes! Yummmmmmmm!<p>

_Leena Vane and 640 others like this._

-Susie Vane: I agree.

-Layla Vane: I agree.

-Cory Vane: I agree.

-Karmen Vane: I agree.

-Collin CamPics Creevey: ...W...T...F...

_Hermione Granger and 1,574,289 others like this._

-Lord Voldemort: Well then.

* * *

><p>Draco Malfoy: BARK BARK BARK! BAAAAAAAAAARK!<p>

_Amy Rose and 10,472,238,834 others like this._

**~End Chapter~**

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><p><strong>Another installment of the Wizarding World in the social networking site. Do you want an OC in here? Send One! I'll put them in! Read! Laugh! Review! Love!<strong>


	4. Riot at Lavender's!

_Fiona Greene and 999,999 others are now friends with Conker The Squirrel._

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><p>Parvati Patil – Lord Voldemort: Hey Voldy! Congratulations on your new role as Snorlax in the new Pokémon Movie! All that weight you've gained must've really paid off, huh?<p>

_Hermione Granger and 583 others like this._

-Lord Voldemort: YOU BITCH! I'M NOT FAT!

-Pansy Parkinson: LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO!

-Dean Komikku Thomas: GET HIS ASS, GIRL!

* * *

><p>Harry Potter: So, what are you guys dressing up for on Halloween? I'm not sure what I should dress up as!<p>

_Romilda Vane and 180 others like this._

-Ginny Weasley: I'm gonna dress up as a fairy!

-Neville Plantboy Longbottom: I'm gonna dress up as pirate.

-Dean Komikku Thomas: I'll probably be a vampire. Not the stupid, lame Twilight vampires, the COOL ones.

-Kingsley Shacklebolt: I'll be...something...yeah...

-Lord Voldemort: You should go as a zombie, Harry. That way someone can mistake you as an actual zombie and shoot you in the head and you'll finally be dead.

-Carmen Oreo: Worst. Joke. Ever.

-Harry Potter: You're trying too hard, Voldemort.

-Cho Chang: I'm gonna step out of my comfort zone and be a...zombie stripper! I've never done that before, so this will be new for me.

-Luna Lovegood: No surprise there.

**Cho Chang has now blocked Luna Lovegood.**

* * *

><p>Terry Boot: RIOT OVER AT LAVENDER'S HOUSE! NUMBER 10, SUNSET WAY, LITTLE WHINGING, SURREY!<p>

_Pansy Parkinson and 563,292 others like this._

-Vincent Crabbe: I got the chainsaws!

-Blaise Zabini: I got the explosives!

-Carmen Oreo: I got my video camera!

-Michael Corner: I got...um...my boombox?

-Lavender Brown: You morons will never get me. LAVENDER SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

-Severus Snape: Destroy? How? Destroy us with your gigantic boobies?

-Minerva McGonagall: ^LOL!

-Lord Voldemort: Grrr. I wish I could be there to witness this. I totally would've thrown eggs full of salmonella at her house!

-Lavender Brown: I have weapons. And good ones too. Go ahead and try to tear me down. But I will be rising from the ground...LIKE A SKYSCRAPER!

-Dennis Creevey: Quoting lyrics doesn't make you look cool.

_Emily Crenshaw likes this._

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><p>Sirius Black: HOLY CRAP! SOMEONE JUST GOT KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT ON 64TH STREET!<p>

_Gregory Goyle likes this._

-Seamus Finnigan: Who?

-Hermione Granger: What?

-Pansy Parkinson: When?

-Millicent Bulstrode: Where?

-Justin Flinch-Fletchy: Why?

-Padma Patil: How?

-Charlie Weasley: What?

-Hermione Granger: I already said what.

-Sirius Black: Look on the freaking news you lazy bums.

* * *

><p>Lavender Brown: Heh heh heh...I love how everyone thinks they're gonna own me in this battle, but wait until they see what I got in store for them!<p>

-Dobby FreeElf: What are you gonna do? Scare everyone away by showing your face with no makeup on?

-Lavender Brown: Nope. Something much worse than that.

-Dobby FreeElf: I don't think anyone can possibly imagine anything worse than seeing you with no makeup on.

-Lavender Brown: You know what, just STFU and you can sit your ass ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR. I got this.

-Moaning Myrtle: The only thing you got is ugliness!

-Lavender Brown: YAWN! Come back tomorrow with a more original comeback, kthxbai.

* * *

><p>Ron Weasley: Is in love with Hermione Granger.<p>

_Hannah Abbot and 788,299 others like this._

-Romilda Vane: Awww, how cute!

-Hermione Granger: ;D

-Ginny Weasley: You guys are so adorable together!

-Imogene Jenkins: uliga moleuneun mwongaleul malha yeola!

-Hermione Granger: Speak English bitch, or don't speak at all.

-Imogene Jenkins: YEOSMEOG-EO!

-Collin Campics Creevey: No...just...no.

-Imogene Jenkins: naege heos-solil haneungeoya?

-Luna Lovegood: Why the hell are you speaking in a different language when we OBVIOUSLY don't understand you at all?

-Collin Campics Creevey: Guys, let's not bother with this. This is just a waste of time and energy.

-Imogene Jenkins: naneun yeoleobun modu silh-eo.

-Hermione Granger: STFU!

* * *

><p>Bloody Baron: Preparing a Halloween feast in advance for Lady Helena Ravenclaw...man, I hate doing this!<p>

_Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington likes this._

-Freaky Peeves: Don't worry, I'll help you prepare it! Well, as long as you pay me of course.

-Rowena Ravenclaw: I'll send out the invitations...when I'm not being lazy and actually get up from my bed for once.

-Salazar Slytherin: I'll help out by eating all the bananas in the kitchen!

-Helga Hufflepuff: ^How is that suppose to help anything?

-Salazar Slytherin: Uhh...because it...umm...OH CRAP! COMPUTER'S SCREWING UP! BYE!

-Godric Gryffindor: Um, if anyone needs ME, I'll be at the back lot of Warner Brothers Studios, playing Quidditch with Fat Friar.

-Hannah Abbot: Commenting on this for no reason. I am such a rebel!

* * *

><p>Fred Weasley: Shoot, my toilet is clogged. Hmmm...if only there some infamous Freed House Elf in Britain that can actually do the job really well...<p>

-Dobby FreeElf: Sigh...be there in 15 minutes...

-Alicia Spinnet: I am so sorry, Dobby.

* * *

><p>Brittany Spears: Don't forget fans to come to my tour performance show in the Center for Demonic Rituals in Downtown London on October 29!<p>

_Penelope Clearwater and 3,843,292,103 others like this._

-Helen George: BRITTANY! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

-Roberto Lima: OMG! I AM SO GOING TO THE SHOW! I'M GONNA STEAL MY PARENTS MONEY AND SNEAK OFF TO WATCH IT! THAT'S SOME HUGE LOYALTY RIGHT THERE!

-Kris Krangel: Brittany, you are so hot. I have 573893440 posters of you in my room. YOU. ARE. GOD.

-Elijah Jones: I'd hate to know what you do with those posters.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort: It's soooooo boring today...I don't know what to freaking do!<p>

_George Weasley likes this._

-Romilda Vane: You could try to work out. Your body is the size of a planet anyways.

-Lord Voldemort: Screw off. I'm not fat.

-Delilah Riddle: AHEM! Maybe you would like to put those dishes away like I TOLD you to yesterday, mister!

-Cormac McLaggen: ...Delilah? What? Is she your mom, Voldy?

-Lord Voldemort: DELILAH! I TOLD YOU TO STAY OFF OF FACEBOOK!

-Ron Weasley: OMG! DELILAH IS VOLDEMORT'S WIFE!

-Dean Komikku Thomas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?

-Albus Dumbledore: No. Freaking. Way.

-Hannah Abbot: This is unbelievable. I cannot even BEGIN to believe this.

-Millicent Bulstrode: IKR? Who in the universe would want to be me married to VOLDEMORT?

-Collin CamPics Creevey: Voldemort, you have some explaining to do. You never told me about this.

-Vincent Crabbe: You never told me either!

-Kreacher The Loyal: Same here, dude.

-Lord Voldemort: All of you just STFU. It's a VERY long story that I don't feel like explaining so everyone just back the hell off for a minute.

-Delilah Riddle: Tom, can you give me some Lemonade? My mouth is dry like a cactus on a summer day in a desert!

-Pansy Parkinson: What, you can't get it yourself?

-Lord Voldemort: I SAID BACK OFF, PANSY.

-Fred Weasley: Hey wait a second...your wife can't walk, can she? CAN SHE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! THAT IS HILARIOUS!

-George Weasley: Wow. I guess that explains everything then!

-Draco Malfoy: Oh please. I knew all about this for years.

-Romilda Vane: *rolls eyes at the comment above*

-Terry Boot: Screencapped.

-Parvati Patil: I'm shocked they haven't been divorced yet.

-Lord Voldemort: Grrrr...WHY ME?

* * *

><p><em>Dean Komikku Thomas and 950,573 others are now friends with Selena Gomez.<em>

**~End Chapter~**


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